i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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