I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
