Pappa wants mamma naked
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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