trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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