I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
