I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
