i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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