im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
