That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
