The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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