why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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