okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
