Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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