Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Are we still banned from the library?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
