i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
