Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
