Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
