I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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