the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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