i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
