Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize
