I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize