it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
