I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
