You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
