It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
