i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
