I should be sponsored by Trojan
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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