I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
