sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
