so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
