she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
