I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
