thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
