We won't sleep together?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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