I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
