O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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