Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
