Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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