weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
