I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
