If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it glows. i had to have it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
