Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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