her vagine was all disorganized.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
