Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
