worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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