Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize