i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
