I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
