NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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