im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
