At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize