I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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