i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
