I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
