..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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