where am i from again
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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