I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
