Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
