I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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