Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
