i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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