happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
