I am spending my child support on dildos
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
