either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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