i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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