This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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