its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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