I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
