I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's rum buckets o'clock
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
