well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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