I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
