Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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